I’ve always been a very outspoken woman, my momma says it’s both a blessing, and a curse. I understand everyone loves to voice their opinion, which I completely encourage, otherwise I wouldn’t have a blog. But sometimes, you should really learn when to shut your mouth and stop ranting about things beyond your control and that bring you absolutely nothing by downing them. One subject that people absolutely love to rant and rave about, is marriage. Marriage is something I feel so many people take for granted, as is love.
I feel a lot of people go into marriage thinking, “well if it doesn’t work out, there’s always divorce”. It really saddens me that things that should be permanent and life-long, have a plan B. You can get a divorce, abort your child, cut off all ties with family, the list is endless. When you get married, you repeat the…
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I feel that much of our generation has lost sight of what it really takes to build a strong, long lasting relationship. Even more so, I don’t think that this is a secret. It seems to be pretty widely agreed upon that we have a lot of work to do if we want to break out of the hookup culture that has been created, and create actual meaning in our lives.
I have recently begun to understand the importance of simple things that create intimacy between two people on a deeper, emotional level. I came across a quote the other day that I really liked:
“Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is who you text at 3 am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of…
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Almost every single one is right on the mark. My boyfriend is my best friend. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.
1. He sees you in true form. There’s right before bed, zit cream and all. There’s drunk you with eye liner smeared on your face and nacho cheese in your hair. There are a lot of you’s he has endured. It’s actually laughable how bad you have looked around him and how little you care.
2. You’ve become so comfortable with each other that embarrassment is no longer a factor.
3. You have each other’s outfit ensembles nearly memorized. “I’m wearing the maroon shirt” “With the tan shorts and brown watch?” “Yup.”
4. You have had moments where you both felt like you couldn’t stand anyone else but each other for the moment.
5. Your families are way too comfortable around you both at this point and absolutely nothing gets held back.
6. You become obsessed with certain restaurants and foods for different periods of time.
7. You two have…
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Whoa. So I really haven’t written in a while, and although now is not the best time to write something, I feel as though I should. It’s 11:42 on a school night, I have an 8am class, and it is a guarantee that I will 1.) Be absolutely dead in the morning and 2.) That my increasingly troublesome dependence on coffee will continue to grow. And yet, I believe that I will continue to write about this newfound blur that is my life.
I’m in college now. Hold up. How? When did this happen? And how have I, seemingly overnight (it’s actually been 2 weeks, but you know, whatever) become so accustomed to this weird new lifestyle? Wake Forest University is beautiful. It is teeming with interesting, intelligent people…who tiredly refer to it as “Work Forest”…because the workload is rather dreadful. I haven’t even hit the full swing of things yet, and I’m already ready to be done with school (not really…but sort of…). Can’t we have college without, you know, the actual class part? Just kidding. I love learning, and the ways in which I will experience education here will be what I have been dreaming about ever since senioritis kicked in around the beginning of high school’s freshman year. I look forward to spending the next four years of my life here.
There was an activities fair today. It was rather extensive, and more than a little bit overwhelming. People were shouting at me from all directions to try this club and that…”Do you want to learn about Hinduism?” ” Do you tap dance?”” How would like to try out for the campus comedy group?” “Do you like to run? You should join running club!” My head was spinning. My email inbox is literally on the verge of overflowing from the onslaught of emails that I’m getting…all simply because I was reeled into a multitude of tables and then felt guilted into joining their mailing lists. But oh well. Maybe something that I never would’ve thought of joining will catch my eye. I did find a few things that I am legitimately interested in. Those should be fun. A capella auditions? I love to sing but seriously have doubts about my ability! What to do, what to do? Is it worth risking embarrassment? Decisions, decisions. alkjshasudgaskughsalitsalighzlzkh;lziha;ihtas
*Insert abrupt change of subject here*
So I’m going to talk about my relationship now. (*People roll their eyes and decide that they don’t like this blog after all*)
Sorry, you don’t have to continue reading this if you’d rather not. This is mainly for me, because I have a lot of thoughts in my head and I want to get them out.
But I want to literally scream to the world how in love I am. Whoops. Sorry if that’s annoying. Sorry if that’s sappy. (*People roll their eyes yet again and think, “Oh, she’s just a stupid teenage girl, puppy love, it will never last, college is starting and she’ll meet someone else, long distance never works,etc. etc. etc.”*) Yeah yeah. Okay. I know that the future is full of change, and that you can never know for sure. But I am seriously extremely happy, well, pretty much all the time. Even when I’m having the worst day, I feel as though I have some subliminal happiness purely because I know that I am lucky–I have a best friend who is always there for me. He is the sweetest person I have ever met, and the level of caring that I feel from him…I just couldn’t have ever imagined anything like this. Literally, in over a year, we have never really argued. A few moments of frustration, here and there…but all through it I still feel that wonderful love that just makes my heart feel so, so full. And everything works itself out. I can’t think of any improvement upon this relationship (other than getting to see each other more frequently, of course). What could I want from anyone else? Why would I change anything or question that this is right? If it’s right for me, it’s right. And I love it. I love being completely comfortable. I love being utterly weird and yet…there is no judgement. Actually, we both judge ourselves for being weird together, and then just laugh because it’s awesome and fun and aghahsoihtsalih I just can’t help but smile.
I’m rambling…time is ticking…I need to go to bed….
The other day we took a mini roadtrip together. We just rode along, talking, nighttime in the car….listening to music…and it just felt so right. Like…that is where I want to be. Always. I want to proceed on into my future, a young adult, middle aged, old…and continue to have quiet, simple moments like that. It was just a feeling of utmost security. Comfort. Love. I am perfectly content by his side, no matter where we are or what we are doing. It is a friendship of the best kind, something which I hold in the highest regard. A connection where we can talk about anything and everything at any time, any given moment, and not feel awkward. And then, in the midst of talking, I just smile for no reason. I get an overwhelming urge to kiss him simply because he is so sweet. If we are together, I kiss him because I can. And talk through the kisses. And debate through the cuddles…or keep quiet through the cuddles, whatever is deemed fit at the time.
I can’t even sum this up. I have so many overwhelming thoughts, so much warmth and love and then confusion about life and stress from school and then (oh my gosh I love Gregory so much) I just want to pour it all out (wut) but I don’t know how (what is going on ) and it’s so, so late…and I think…I might…just…stop.
Without even proofreading.
So if there are errors, please ignore them. I probably just mistyped.
Or maybe there aren’t errors. So yay, if that’s the case.
If I were the type of mother who tucked handwritten notes into her kid’s lunch box or if my daughter, the delightful Fangette, was the type of kid who would read such a thing, I’d pack the following list into the suitcase that’s sitting on her bed — the one that’s bound, in just a few short days, for her new digs on a college campus six hours away. I’m not that mother, she’s not that kid. As there is a much better chance that she’ll read the list if I post it here than if I stuff it in with her winter socks, I’ve compiled what I’m calling “The 12 Things Fangette Needs For College”. Feel free to substitute any name for “Fangette” if you find that this list appeals to your “Ashley”, your “Sara” or, horror of horrors and shame on you!, your “Gertrude”. Perhaps, if you have…
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I realize just how much I love you
When my mind goes black and
Sourceless anger boils in my chest
And you still love me and have
A kindness like I never thought
And when what feeds the false hate
Fades away I realize
Just how extremely lucky I am.
Actually, I knew it all the time.
The tiredness feeds the falsity
The stress fuels the tension
But then sleep brings reprieve and
Everything lifts away.
I love you more than I ever could
Have dreamed when I met you
And I know that you are
What I’ve always needed
And I never want to be without you
At night when I sleep I dream
Of fanning kisses across
Your cheeks, up your jaw
Your nose, trailing to your lips
Kissing you first with the sweetness
That you show to me
And then hungrily
Because I crave you all the time and
i never can seem to have my fill.
You are my weakness.
I lie close to you, hear your breath
My head on your chest
Feel your heart beating hard, fast
Strong and tangible as my own pulse
That goes pounding through my entire body.
I never want to leave this place
This lovely place with you.
I never want you to leave.
But one day goodbyes will change
Turned to goodnights in which I will
Find myself encircled in your arms
Held close and safe
Never having to be without you again
At least, not for so long.
Gaps will close and finally
We will be together
All in the same place
A lovely place with you.
The Guy You Date: Thinks about what you have to offer him. He loves you because you give him your undivided time and attention, you’re attractive, and you share common interests and hobbies like playing tennis or obsessing over Fall Out Boy. He is hoping you will be a good match for him.
The Guy You Marry: Thinks about what he has to offer you. He loves you because of who you are- he appreciates your quirks, your flaws and strange sense of humor, the way you snort when you laugh and read Charles Dickens every winter, and everything he’s come to know about you. He is hoping he will be a good husband for you.
The Guy You Date: Is quick to become jealous when you’re around other guys. He gets angry easily, which often ends up in long, petty arguments. He is…
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Almost exactly two years ago, I quit eating meat. I completely quit cold turkey (or rather, would it be…cold tofurkey? Whoops. That was really bad.). During that time, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked my reason for going vegetarian…and I can’t tell you how many times I really have had no defined reasoning to give in response. I’m going to try to sort it out here…
Perhaps it’s rooted in my childhood. Animal lover from the start, avid researcher of every kind of animal imaginable, I used to run around pretending, for hours on end, that I was an animal. It was actually pretty weird. But whatever. I developed a deep sort of empathy for animals, and I always wanted to go vegetarian based off of the animal harm angle. Never quite could do it. Even when I, as an 8 year old, mailed my 5 dollar bill off to PETA as a “donation”. Even when I sent off for the vegetarian starter kit at the age of 13 and received cute little “I am not a nugget” stickers with a chick on them and those horribly bloody animal cruelty videos.
I kept right on eating meat. What is a 13 year old going to do when her family, though upset by the video, thinks it’s just a fad?
I then entered into my “go green” stage. I realized that eating meat is a part of being a human–we’re omnivores. I have absolutely no problem with the circle of life. I can flip the channel to National Geographic and unflinchingly watch videos of cheetahs hunting gazelles without any qualms. What really gets to me is the method by which humans now procure their meat. In the old days, everyone hunted for their own food, ate what they needed, and saved whatever couldn’t be eaten at the time. But now…factory farms. Hugely commercialized, disgusting industries that put the animals through absolute torture (it’s not the killing that gets me, it’s the unnecessary pain) and unnatural situations (thousands of animals stuffed together, growing so heavy from the growth hormones that their legs break under their own weight?) before their deaths. Do you have any idea how bad for the planet it is to manufacture all the meat we eat today? The raising of cows for beef pollutes the planet more than the toxins released by every gas-powered automobile on earth combined. The waste from all these factories seeps into the soil, pollutes the waters, and overall destroys the planet. There are countless consequences from factory farming, a chain reaction of nastiness that is slowly killing the Earth. I don’t feel like digging out my research right now. If you’re curious, simply look into it. You’ll see.
Health. Because of this factory farming system, the meat we eat is not healthy for our bodies. An abundance of meat (red meat especially) is not good in general, but the way it is made? Just terrible. The abundance of corn in America (another controversial and frustrating issue that I will not get into right now) has made it so that corn is in all of our food. The animals that we eat? They all lived off of corn-based diets–yes, even some types seafood (farmed fish). Ugh. It’s simply not natural. Humans weren’t meant to live off of corn, and neither were those creatures. It’s just plain bad for us. In addition, the amount of hormones that are put into the animals bred for meat is ridiculous. “Let’s make these chickens develop faster and grow larger! Yay, more meat! Oh, and let’s cram them into pens so that they sit on each other and get their feces smeared everwhere! What, the feces is probably going to end up in the meat? OH WELL!”
I know I probably sound like I’m just spouting propaganda, but seriously. That’s our food industry nowadays. When we eat meat, we aren’t just eating meat. Instead we are ingesting chemicals, steroids and hormones…feces, bacteria, pus, and blood…have I ruined your appetite yet? Sorry. It disgusts me. Even without meat in my diet, I’m still under the influence of our commercialized food industry, forced to ingest many modified foods and high amounts of unhealthy products simply because that is how we live now. Welcome to the modern world, people. Care for something to eat?
Want to know more? A great place to start would be by watching Food, Inc. I believe it’s actually available on Netflix instant right now.
- I’m not judging you for eating meat. It’s your choice, and I know vegetarianism isn’t for everyone.
- I like meat. Occasionally I’d like to have an actual burger or a Chick-Fil-A sandwich (oh sadness…). If the means by which meat is procured weren’t so terrible, I’d probably still be eating it (although I never ate much anyway..I don’t even like many kinds of meat). I just can’t stand the process. I refuse to support the process. Vegetarian “faux meat” options don’t taste so bad anyway. I don’t miss much.
- Yes, I do get plenty of protein. No, I don’t JUST eat vegetables.
- I’m not a psychotic PETA protester or hippie or anything, but I am against animal abuse. No sentient creature deserves to be abused–and don’t argue with me whether animals are sentient. They feel pain. They have some level of consciousness. If we want to include meat in our diets, we need to find some better method of getting that nourishment. Convenience and mass-production are great in some ways, but with the meat industry? Come on. There has to be some better way of doing things. If not for the animals, then for our own health. It’s not good for us, either.
- And I don’t care what people say. We are killing this planet little by little. We don’t have to pollute it and devour its resources at this rate. Society is growing. I know. Progress…well, it’s mostly great. But we need to be more sustainable. I’m not sure how. But…it’s a problem.
Wow. I’m not sure if I just talked in circles or if I made sense. But that’s my rant for the day. It kind of explains my vegetarian choice…kind of…I guess. And these are just my opinions. I do have facts to back them up, and if you check into it, you’ll find that there’s a lot of support for what I have said. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, however, so don’t get your dander up if you don’t agree with my reasoning. Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a great day!
1.) You have a legitimate excuse to write snail mail letters!
Admit it, as great as it is to be able to receive the instant gratification of text, email, and social media communications, there’s still something wonderful about “snail mail”. Remember when you were a kid, anxiously awaiting the arrival of a birthday card or a letter from a pen pal? Writing to/waiting for mail from your long distance love holds the same sort of suspense! No matter how often I talk to my boyfriend through texts, phonecalls, and Facetime, it still gives me something to look forward to if I know he has dropped me a note in the mailbox. Feeling the paper in your hands and seeing a person’s handwriting provides a more personal touch, a special sense of connection that words on a screen simply cannot convey.
It’s unlikely that those couples who see each other every day would ever bother to write each other–they’re missing out.
2.) It is much easier to decipher the strength of your bond.
Let me elaborate: Your average relationship (aka one where the couple sees each other almost every day/relatively frequently) may not realize that a romance is heading nowhere until it has already hit the roadblock. They may stay together simply for convenience’s sake, or for more physical reasons. Now, by no means am I saying that all those in the average relationship aren’t heading anywhere, but I am implying that it is easier in an LDR to realize your true feelings for your significant other. Because of the deficiency of regular dates and meetings in person, a person in a long distance relationship will discover more quickly whether their connection is true. Things will fizzle more quickly in an LDR than an average courtship if the relationship is purely physical or if feelings aren’t rooted deeply. The alone time provides more room for contemplation over whether or not the effort and separation are worth it, and prevents wasted time and debilitating heartbreak if things aren’t going to work out. If the relationship is strong, however, the couple will learn to value each other that much more. Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Most definitely.
3.) A little bit goes a long way.
This kind of runs in the vein of reason number two–those in an LDR will often learn to value time together more (or at least earlier on in the relationship) than those who see each other every day. Little things such as hearing their voice on the phone or seeing their smile over videochat will bring a wealth of joy and a smile to your own face. Dates, while fun in the average relationship, become cherished moments in time, golden nuggets of togetherness in an sea of separation. Time together will yield long conversations; it is amazing simply to sit and talk for hours, catching up while looking into each other’s eyes and wondering at the magic bit of luck that brought you this immense happiness. Long hugs become a brilliant cure for loneliness, washing away all the time apart and making it as though you were never separated. Simple kisses hold so many words unspoken. Every little thing, every little connection that can be made becomes valuable, and nothing beats the pleasure that comes with seeing your sweetie after a long absence.
4.) It is easier to maintain strong relationships with everyone, not just your significant other.
Surely you’ve heard of the drama: a person completely drops their friend for a new boyfriend or girlfriend, or isolates their family because they are so consumed in their romantic relationship. Maybe you’ve been that person and gotten wrapped up in your romance, or maybe you’ve been the one left feeling second-rate. In an LDR, there’s much less of a chance that such mishaps will happen. While one will grow to develop a strong relationship with their boyfriend/girlfriend, the time of separation also provides room for the development of familial bonds and time with other friends–just make sure that the free time isn’t spent moping and pining for your love. Make the most of all your interpersonal connections!
5.) The future is a wondrous place.
In every good relationship, of course, there is a happiness when you think of a future with that person. An LDR takes that one step further, however, because the future most likely means an end to the separation, a time when you’ll never have to be apart ever again (at least not for long). Those wonderful instances spent together will no longer be limited to short spurts of time; there is so much to look forward to! If you’re lucky, your long distance love will have yielded a best friend unlike any other–and what could be better than spending forever with your best friend? It is hard to even imagine the happiness that will be felt.
While the distance may be hard right now, make the most of what you have–wouldn’t you rather enjoy the little things in your relationship and have that love in your life than be completely without them? The miles will be worth it in the end; look to the future with an open mind. If things are meant to be, know that you have immense joy in store for you.
Things aren’t so bad after all, now are they?